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The current period represents a ten-year milestone since the word “vanishing” entered the mainstream. Back then, the concept that someone could instantly end all contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the peak of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more confounding – an frequently fruitless exercise in humiliation that is increasingly defined by online lingo.

Gen Z, a demographic who grew up during a loneliness crisis, a male identity crisis, and a concerted challenge on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their Gen Y predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic glossary has grown longer and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the boundaries of your sanity.

Below is a comprehensive breakdown to the words gen Z is using to discuss romance, sex and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – According to Zoomers, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your real, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

B

Bird theory – A social media test connected to a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is inquisitive or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s response to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while exuding enigma and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This refers to going for someone who aids you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a seat for you to sit down.

Choremance – A date where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do affordable romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 80s young urban professional affluence, it describes pairs who forgo parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of acting aloof: embracing dialogue, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Warning signs – Behavioral habits signaling a prospective partner is trouble. Examples include calling their exes unstable, poor gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks affirm your decision to pursue a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe niche, largely inoffensive quirks. For instance being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon partner who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Arbitrary and often mundane dealbreakers that immediately shut down any sense of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an extremely sweet display.

J

Careers – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers want fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {